As you have long thought, the threat of lawn gnomes has been spreading. What was only a concern for north American suburbia has now spread to the shores of Rio de Janeiro. Copacabana and Ipanema aren't safe. Likely, your flats, apartments and hotels are about to be overrun, if they haven't already. The garden gnomes are here on holiday with a few days to kill, literally. Here are some tips on surviving the onslaught before they are running all over the real estate that you just happen to be occupying.
At the beginning, you need to be familiar with your exit strategies for the apartments or hotels that you might be staying in. Practice exiting from a first-story window. You may need to jump from your accommodations if a hoard of gnomes are crawling around your flats. Don't forget to memorize the layouts. Those little bastards have been known to cut power lines. Also, be sure and have a second bicycle covered. Lawn gnomes always disable your car rentals and also your bicycle before their infiltration. And finally, don't forget cardio. That bicycle won't do you any good in case you can't peddle your heart out.
If break free from your apartments or hotels are not an option, you will be left with hand to gnome combat. Keep a weapon in every room so you always have something available to fight back. Also, get in the habit of dressing in layers. Their little blades and arrows will have a harder time breaking through layers of clothes. This will make accommodations for at least some protection.
Also, you can't forget to train for the approaching doom of a garden gnome assault in Rio de Janeiro. Practice rising from bed quickly in attack mode. One hand to extends to for a flashlight and the other should already have a weapon in hand to club or stab the little demons. One might also contemplate rentals of some heavy duty firepower.
No one ever envisioned for this kind of onslaught to occur in Rio de Janeiro, so best of luck. No one expected that the lawn gnomes would be going south. So it looks like you will need to cut your vacation short.
Copacabana and Ipanema will both soon be crawling with them. It should be noted that not one of the tips in this guide will guarantee your survival in the eventuality of a brutal garden gnome attack, but it should at least give you a fighting chance. Good hunting and stay safe!
At the beginning, you need to be familiar with your exit strategies for the apartments or hotels that you might be staying in. Practice exiting from a first-story window. You may need to jump from your accommodations if a hoard of gnomes are crawling around your flats. Don't forget to memorize the layouts. Those little bastards have been known to cut power lines. Also, be sure and have a second bicycle covered. Lawn gnomes always disable your car rentals and also your bicycle before their infiltration. And finally, don't forget cardio. That bicycle won't do you any good in case you can't peddle your heart out.
If break free from your apartments or hotels are not an option, you will be left with hand to gnome combat. Keep a weapon in every room so you always have something available to fight back. Also, get in the habit of dressing in layers. Their little blades and arrows will have a harder time breaking through layers of clothes. This will make accommodations for at least some protection.
Also, you can't forget to train for the approaching doom of a garden gnome assault in Rio de Janeiro. Practice rising from bed quickly in attack mode. One hand to extends to for a flashlight and the other should already have a weapon in hand to club or stab the little demons. One might also contemplate rentals of some heavy duty firepower.
No one ever envisioned for this kind of onslaught to occur in Rio de Janeiro, so best of luck. No one expected that the lawn gnomes would be going south. So it looks like you will need to cut your vacation short.
Copacabana and Ipanema will both soon be crawling with them. It should be noted that not one of the tips in this guide will guarantee your survival in the eventuality of a brutal garden gnome attack, but it should at least give you a fighting chance. Good hunting and stay safe!
About the Author:
Rio de Janeiro Properties is a real-estate agency in Brazil providing high quality apartments for rent in rio de janeiro. They also have to purchase real estate rio de janeiro including Copacabana and Ipanema.
No comments:
Post a Comment