Saturday, July 2, 2011

Discussing questionable issues: Open ended questions to learn without offending!

By Martin Paul


Even if you're in a classroom or in a social gathering, a great discussion could end instantly, with hurt or perhaps upset parties and no one wiser for the change. Even if you may be genuinely interested to understand and learn alternative viewpoints, you need to first acquire the ability of asking open ended questions. You can frequently find these on Bibles like Bibles for Children.

Well meaning people can ruin anyone's probabilities of learning more about a topic of social debate, mainly because they lack the skill. Effective as well as careful use of rhetoric, coupled with an open ended question approach, can open the door to a lively and in depth discussion where everyone benefits.

For example, say you are in a social gathering, eager to get to know new and even remarkable people. Debatable topics are often, on some degree, sensitive in nature. You have loved ones in the breakaway state of Russia therefore have some other views of the reality of the recent Russian reputation. You begin a dialogue with a history professor with the this remark. "I think it's just terrible how the Russians sent soldiers into Georgia, killing civilian people! What is your opinion?"

Unless you know the disposition or statements of that professor, you've put your foot in your mouth. You've initiated the discussion by stating your bias in advance. Can you imagine if that professor is a Russian immigrant, having strong feelings on the Russian situation? You have basically divested yourself of learning several valuable historical information that could shed some light on the situation. If this educated person gets offended, the discussion could be short and uninformative.

On the other hand, given the same scenario, posing an open ended question doesn't imply disagreement or bias on your behalf. You can ask, "You're a history professor and I am interested to learn more about the matter in the Georgian conflict. What is behind this?"

This alternate approach doesn't state your position, other than one of ignorance. Even though the professor could have a bias, she or he is not going to see you as an opponent and will be flattered because you appreciate what they know. It's unimportant whether or not this individual agrees with you. Your objective is to learn what they think and know, how they got to their findings and become more educated in the process.

An additional illustration of the open ended topic, utilized in a purely social context might concern a controversial movie. "Have you watched Michael Moore's 'Sicko'? I believe that guy's a freak and disgracefully unpatriotic, don't you?" You've claimed your point, placing the person you're asking in a likely awkward lurch. Not everybody of the contrary point of view will be rude enough to tell you off. Another loss to your account!

Why don't you consider, "Have you seen 'Sicko'? I was curious about his take on the medical situation. It's getting plenty of push." These cases on the utilization of open ended questions can be a bit heavy handed, but intentionally so. You can see the need for learning, without offending.




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