Many people that get married often end up with a new husband or wife, and sometimes the stepchildren from a previous relationship. You will have to learn how to deal with these new children in your everyday life, each of which will have a variety of personality traits that are different. Step children can be a blessing, as long as you follow some of these common sense tips on how to properly nurture the positive relationship.
You need to stress to your new stepchildren that in no way are you going to try to replace their bio parent. If your stepchildren aren't old enough to even consider this issue, then it can be put aside for the moment. Keep in mind also, that your stepchildren will not be impressed if you immediately start to treat them like they were your own kids. It's imperative that your stepchildren understand your role as the spouse of their mother or father and the fact that you must support your new spouse when dealing with the kids when discipline is necessary. However, this doesn't mean that you and your stepchildren can't be friends. You'll have to find the right balance between being a friend and an authority figure in their lives, which can take a little time to figure out.
Patience will be one of the main virtues you bring to your role as a stepparent. It takes a while for a stepchild to accept a new parent figure into their life; so don't look for immediate rapport with the child. Whatever the circumstances that separated your stepchild from the biological parent whose place you have assumed, they are likely to resist you at first. Keep in mind that part of the reason for this resistance and/or resentment is simply the fact that they miss their original parent. A lot of new stepparents try too hard to get accepted by their stepchild. It's important to be consistent, but equally important not to force yourself on the child. In time, the child will relax and accept you. This will come more easily if you just assure them you don't plan to replace their biological parent, but you are there for them whenever they need you.
Later on, it is important that you sit down with your spouse and figure out the best way that both of you can work together in raising the children. Sometimes issues will come up that you didn't anticipate, such as when you and your partner have a different opinion on something.
As a step parent, it would be ideal for the stepchildren to accept you from day one, something that traditionally does not occur. You need to realize that quite a bit of time must go by before the step children will begin to accept you and your new family will become balanced and fun. It is important to know that you will not be able to manipulate your relationship with these children, and that with patience and love, you will be accepted.
If you genuinely wish to make sure you have a very good relationship with all the members of your family, then it's important to take holidays together. Going on a getaway can do miracles for any family member, as it gives you so much quality time and energy to appreciate some actions together. Begin planning your next family holiday today.
You need to stress to your new stepchildren that in no way are you going to try to replace their bio parent. If your stepchildren aren't old enough to even consider this issue, then it can be put aside for the moment. Keep in mind also, that your stepchildren will not be impressed if you immediately start to treat them like they were your own kids. It's imperative that your stepchildren understand your role as the spouse of their mother or father and the fact that you must support your new spouse when dealing with the kids when discipline is necessary. However, this doesn't mean that you and your stepchildren can't be friends. You'll have to find the right balance between being a friend and an authority figure in their lives, which can take a little time to figure out.
Patience will be one of the main virtues you bring to your role as a stepparent. It takes a while for a stepchild to accept a new parent figure into their life; so don't look for immediate rapport with the child. Whatever the circumstances that separated your stepchild from the biological parent whose place you have assumed, they are likely to resist you at first. Keep in mind that part of the reason for this resistance and/or resentment is simply the fact that they miss their original parent. A lot of new stepparents try too hard to get accepted by their stepchild. It's important to be consistent, but equally important not to force yourself on the child. In time, the child will relax and accept you. This will come more easily if you just assure them you don't plan to replace their biological parent, but you are there for them whenever they need you.
Later on, it is important that you sit down with your spouse and figure out the best way that both of you can work together in raising the children. Sometimes issues will come up that you didn't anticipate, such as when you and your partner have a different opinion on something.
As a step parent, it would be ideal for the stepchildren to accept you from day one, something that traditionally does not occur. You need to realize that quite a bit of time must go by before the step children will begin to accept you and your new family will become balanced and fun. It is important to know that you will not be able to manipulate your relationship with these children, and that with patience and love, you will be accepted.
If you genuinely wish to make sure you have a very good relationship with all the members of your family, then it's important to take holidays together. Going on a getaway can do miracles for any family member, as it gives you so much quality time and energy to appreciate some actions together. Begin planning your next family holiday today.
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